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life is just one big queef

personal diary for a 14 year old NYC girl :)

2-12-14 sticky situation.

Okay so my friend likes this guy right? But she and my other friend think he likes me. She really REALLY likes him. I don’t know what to do. Even I think he might like me. But I’m still not sure. I can’t tell her he doesn’t like me because that might not be true, but I can’t tell he does like me because that isn’t helping either. I feel so lost and I don’t want to loose a friend over a silly guy.

2-9-14 oh no.

So today I have to perform at the Iguana Club and I’m freaking out because I’m sick. My voice sounds terrible and I don’t know what I’m going to do. I ran through my song and it’s so ew and my warmups were also just so ew. That’s the best way I can describe it: ew.

Only 7 more days until Valentines Day. If there is somebody out there who secretly loves me, SPEAK THE FUCK UP BEFORE THEN AND BUY ME CANDY!

I forgot to add this 1-31-14

Also I need to add what Drew said to me earlier that day. When we took a giant group picture with the class, we decided to do a human pyramid. So I was on the second row to the top and he says “Ariana I think you should be on the bottom and Clara should be on the top.” And I’m like “uhhhh why.” And he’s like “because Clara is lighter than you are.” Actually Clara is a lot taller than me and weighs more. I got really offended by his comment. He basically called me fat. I was just like “okayyyy thennnnn…” It was awkward. So that weekend (this happened on a Friday) I decided I would loose weight by starving myself. I only are two things that weekend, all because of his comment. My friends ended up talking me out of starving myself and now I’m fine, but people need to realize that even just one comment like the one Drew said to me can make a huge difference in somebody’s life. One little comment can set somebody over the edge. You don’t know what’s going on in their life. That’s all! :)

1-31-14

Okay so what happened that day started out as no biggie. We were in the dance studio taking yearbook pictures when my best friends Drew and Nika decided they wanted to take a picture with all of the people who were flexible and good at dance. Of course I was excluded. However we had planned on talking a picture of our little group of friends. The period ended and we ended up running out of time because they took forever with the dance picture (I go to a performing arts school btw). So I was very disappointed because it’s 8th grade and my best friends are both moving away. So I ignored them for the first half of the day lol. And Drew got really upset with me about ignoring him. Oops. So then he said he wanted to kill himself, which I found not funny at all. We couldn’t find him for the entire lunch period and I began to worry. I was thinking “what if he kills himself all because of me. All because of a stupid photo.” So I stared crying (and I NEVER get emotional at school.) because I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I knew he even hurt himself because of me. We then had acting class and he showed up. He then goes up to me and asks “why are you crying?” And me being the mess I am, replied “why do you fucking think I’m crying??” And he responds “I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking.” “Because I was worried about you.” I responded. And he just says “oh. You know I would never do anything like that right? I just said that to get attention.” I was shocked. In my head I was like: WELL YOU GOT MY ATTENTION BITCH! ARE YA HAPPY??!!
I was seriously furious with him. I still am. I honestly don’t know why in still friends with him.

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